How could this happen, How could I have let ten weeks pass without knowing, How could I not remember that night, How could I have gotten so drunk
Ten weeks ago marked the night of my best friend Gabby Charlestons, Halloween party. I remember being so glad that we were on break that I let her talk me into letting loose for a change and drinking all night long. After about the tenth drink, things got a little cloudy and drinks seemed to be going down faster. I remember dancing with a guy. He was tall, well taller then my 5’4″ at least. He had short brown hair and blue eyes, that looked like deep pools of water. His tanned skin glistened with sweat as we danced together all night, when he grabbed my hand and pulled me into an empty bedroom. I didn’t stop him.
I didn’t know his name, why didn’t I ask for his name.
I felt tears pool my eyes beneath the lids and I blinked until they streamed down my face. Standing in front of the full length mirror in my bedroom with my hands on my stomach. I cried. I cried for me. I cried for my unborn child. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I am a junior in college. I am only 23. This wasn’t supposed to be my life, I wasn’t supposed to be a mother before I graduated.
Chapter 1
My first prenatal visit and I was terrified, all the signs were there two weeks ago when I finally noticed my missed period. I was throwing up constantly and something was off. I told Gabby I thought I was pregnant and she bought me a test, I took the two the came in the box, and they both came up positive right away. Today was the first day they had available at my OB and of course they wanted to do a blood test to be sure. I didn’t need a blood test, I was sure.
As I sat in the waiting room trying to fill out paperwork, my hands shook and I wasn’t sure if it was because of nerves or if I was just scared. This would mark my first pregnancy and I knew I would keep my child. I was an adoptive child. I didn’t know my birth parents and as selfish as that was I didn’t want that for my baby. I wanted my baby to know me, I knew how it felt to feel unwanted.
“Rachelle Garbson”
I jerked my head up when I heard my name and noticed a nurse standing at the open doorway leading into the back, where the rooms were. I slowly stood to my feet and I felt eyes on me as I moved towards the door and followed the nurse. “Step on the scale, please” she said pointing towards a scale in the hallway about five feet from the door. I shrugged off my heavy coat and put my purse on the chair next to the scale, “Shoes too?” I asked and slid my boots off when she nodded her head.
In stocking feet, in socks that were mismatched, I stood on the scale and stared at the tiny numbers. “Great, I already gained five pounds, already” I mumbled, “That’s normal, dear” the older nurse remarked, then nodded for me to gather my things and follow her towards the room. I gathered up everything in my arms and let my still wet boots dangle from my left hand, I quickly walked behind her and went into the room she assigned for me.
“Sit on the bed so I can take your vitals” she instructed, I followed orders and sat on the bed. My too short stature had my feet hanging which was quite uncomfortable on my thighs but I didn’t complain. She placed the blood pressure cuff on my right arm and I grimaced as it tightened around my arm, she quickly wrote my vitals down and then questioned about medication and allergies.
I answered the questions quickly, nodding as she went through the medication I was on and noted on the birth control pills I took faithfully which obviously don’t work for everyone. “If you are indeed pregnant, we will be taking you off the birth control” she noted, “Well they don’t work” I shot back bitterly. “All birth control doesn’t work for everyone, we may need to put you on something else. So you can find something that works for you. The doctor will be in shortly” She snapped while leaving the room and closing the door behind her.
“Nasty women needs to find another job” I muttered jumping off the bed and changing into the gown. I searched for my phone to find something to read, My doctors office took forever. I was just settled in on the bed and started reading one of novels in the ereader app on my phone, when knocking at the door startled me.
“Come in” I called, The doctor walked in and introduced herself as Tricia McCoy, “You think you are pregnant?” she asked while sitting down in the chair next to the bed. I simply nodded my head feeling the tears come to my eyes again. “The nurse will be here in a minute to take some blood, okay sweetie?”. I nodded again, unsure of what happened to my voice, I shouldn’t be this scared. Nurse stick-up-her-butt came back in the room, took blood from me without a word and then left as quickly as she came. I rolled my eyes behind her back as she left the room again.
“We are going to do an internal while we wait for the blood work to come back. I need you to lay back and relax”. “Okay” I squeaked, as I lay back and tried to relax my muscles. I hated pap smears and only got them done when it was necessary, once a year. Looked like I’d be getting them a lot more now, I shuddered at the thought.
The doctor was pretty gentle, that could be because she was a women or because she was just that good at her job. I wasn’t sure but I was grateful. “All done, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” she asked smiling at me, I smiled back and shook my head. I hoped she would be my doctor for the remainder of my pregnancy. Two quick knocks at the door, “Blood work is back” the same nurse said and the doctor followed her out of the room. If nothing else, they were quick here.
“So, You are indeed pregnant, when was your last period?” the doctor questioned as she came back in the room. She pulled a small calendar out of her pocket and sat back down. I titled my head it was now January 12th and it had been 12 weeks since the party, My period ended a week before that so 13 weeks ago. I tried to do the math in my head but couldn’t. “It was 13 weeks ago” I quickly stated and felt my cheeks heat up thinking she was going to look down on that, she only smiled and counted 13 weeks back on her calendar.
After counting back, she looked up “That would be the week of October 12th, Can you remember a day in that week” she asked. I nodded “it was a Friday, that my period ended” I declared with certainty. “The 16th?” she asked to be sure, I nodded my head. “Looks like we have July 14th, for your due date” she confirmed. I let out a small cry and the tears ran down my face, if it wasn’t real before, It was now.
Chapter 2
The days that followed were a blur, wake up, take prenatal vitamins, eat and go to class. In between that, I would study and try to sleep. Mostly I would lay in my bed with my hand on my stomach and envision what my life would be like in 7 months. Would I have a girl or a boy? Would they look like me or him?
Him. The father. I didn’t know his name. I didn’t know who he was.
The realization had me swallowing bile down my throat, I had to find him. I had to. For my baby. For me. I sat straight up in bed and threw the covers off my bare legs, I crept over to my desk and quietly pulled out the chair so it wouldn’t squeak and wake my still sleeping roommate. I pulled out my notebook and began to outline fliers, it was a start at least. I couldn’t say looking for my babies father, that would scare him away, I was sure.
Looking for my mystery man. Met at party on October 23rd, danced and got to know eachother. We have catching up to do, if this is you, please contact me at ……..
That sounded good I decided, I typed it up and made thirty copies to hang around and have my friends pass out. They were going to think I was insane but I needed to find this guy.
As I sat in class that morning a million things went through my mind, none of these thoughts focused on the English Lit class I was sitting in at the moment. I thought about the party, I tried really hard, maybe Gabby knew who this man was. I pulled out my phone and shot her a quick Can we meet up for lunch text, then put my phone down and placed it in my my purse. I tried hard to focus and take notes on the lecture and the last 45 minutes I had of class. I had the fliers tucked away in my purse, I planned on begging Gabby to pass them around when we met up.
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“Rae you can not be serious” Gabby complained as we sat across from each other at our favorite burger place on campus, I reached for another french fry dipped in mayo and nodded my head. “I have to find out, I need to know for the baby” I whispered or tried to but my naturally loud voice still attracted several stares towards our table, Gabby just shook her head. She grabbed one of my fliers that I had spent all night on, holding it with her thumb and fore finger, studying it with disdain. “Rae, You are completely insane. You can not do this, Rae I am serious.” She lectured with a frown.
I looked at my friend and tried to see her side of things, but she had to put herself in my shoes. Here I was about to give birth to a human, in seven months and I was all alone. “I’m scared” I sniffed, letting her know I screwed up and I felt completely utterly alone. She stood up from the table and pulled me in for a hug, “Come on back to my condo, we will figure it out” she offered. We walked from the building, around the corner to her apartment.
Once we were in her apartment, we settled on her small orange love seat.
Gabby pulled out a notebook and a pen and stared me down. “Okay, What do you know? Run it down for me.” she stated, her pen hovering over the blank page ready to take notes. She looked so serious, I started laughing. “Rae, come on, this is serious” she stressed. I pulled myself together and tried to be serious. “He’s taller then me, maybe six foot even, with closed cut brown hair and blue eyes” I started, trying to remember. “Name?” she asked, I shook my head that I didn’t know. She looked at me as if I had grown horns, “What?” I snapped.
She put the notebook and pen down on the coffee table in front of her, and pinched the bridge of her nose with impatience. Taking a deep breath, she started her sentence several times and finally blurted out, “Rae, you honestly expect me to believe. Anyone to believe. You were so drunk that you slept with this man and he didn’t give you a name?”.
She stared at me with intensity, “Yes. He gave me a name, but it’s it’s, I don’t want to repeat it” I disclosed, She grabbed my shoulders, “Rae you have to, we need to track him some way”. “Big daddy Dom” I coughed and then looked anywhere but her eyes, “Big Daddy Dom” she repeated and then almost choked she was laughing so hard.
“Rae, you had a one night stand to someone who refers to himself, as Big Daddy?” she clarified. “Name should be Dom The Dud” I grumbled. She shut her notebook after she wrote the nickname, “I know someone in my lit class that’s nickname is Dom” she confided. “That’s him, it’s got to be” I Gasped but Gabby was shaking her head, “This Dom is married”.
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“I still think the posters are a good idea” I huffed after we watched a movie and we were stuffing our faces with pints of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Gabby plucked her pint down on the coffee table, ignoring the spoon that fell on the floor and snatched the filers up from the table. She walked to the shredder and pushed all thirty of them through, shredding them in to tiny threads. “No, They are a bad idea” she grumbled and snatched her fallen spoon off the floor, walking towards the kitchen to toss it in the sink.
“You need to think, what is the point of having your name and number out there” she reasoned, “all that is going to lead to is a bunch of prank calls and unwanted attention”. Deep down I knew she was right and I would probably have listened on any other night, any other day or time. I didn’t have time to wait for her to find Dom, what Gabby didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt her, I decided.
Chapter 3
“You sure?” Tracey, a friend of mine from back home, whispered as she tacked the first flier up on the wall of the student union. I had remade them the night before, I nodded then rubbed my hands together trying to keep warm. It was after two in the morning, so there wasn’t anyone in sight. The temperature had dropped down to the teens and the Student Union Hallway wasn’t heated, so we could both feel the blistery wind as it hit the door. Tracey shook her head slightly, in a way that I could tell she agreed with Gabby, but she still continued to tack the flier up.
“Come on” I called as I walked out the door with the other five filers I had made and we continued to post them up, around the campus. After posting the last one, I shivered in the darkness.
“Want to go to Charlies?” Tracey asked, nodding her head towards the all night diner, students often hung out in. “I guess” I muttered, pulling my coat tighter around me as I followed Tracey across the deserted street towards the popular hang out spot.
We were soon settled in a booth our hands wrapped around hot mugs of coffee. Awaiting our orders of hot fluffy pancakes, a Charlie specialty. My stomach see-sawed and I could feel the bile, rising in my throat.
As I tried to rush out of the booth, it suddenly spewed from my mouth and I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks at the stares around me. Tracey sat in the booth silently gawking at my publicly embarrassing display. A guy I didn’t know, rushed towards me and attempted to hold my hair, as the puke continued to spew all over the newly washed floor.
It seemed as it would never end, finally after dry heaving for five minutes, I concluded it was over. The unknown guy, handed me some napkins from a nearby table and held my hair until I cleaned myself up. During all this time, Tracey, someone I considered a close friend hadn’t moved a muscle.
“Are you okay now?” the husky voice gently asked, I nodded before looking up into green eyes. “Thank you” I managed to choke out, after a minute, my throat raw.
He helped me back to the booth where Tracey still sat, sipping her coffee, like nothing had happened. “Nice friend, you got” he muttered before making his way back to his group of friends in the corner while I stared after him. I glared at Tracey, managed to throw down ten dollars to pay for my uneaten meal and coffee and left her in the booth. I was going home.
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I didn’t know if Tracey had gotten home the night before, and frankly I didn’t care one way or another. She pissed me off and I was still fuming the next day, as Gabby sat on the couch in the shared suite I lived in with three other women. “She just stared at you, while you puked on the floor?” Gabby asked, completely dumbfounded. I just nodded my head, scared if I opened my mouth, hateful words would come pouring out.
“And the guy… was he someone you knew?” she asked staring at me with wide eyes, I slowly shook my head. I had dreamed about those eyes, the night before. “I wish I knew who he was” I confessed. Gabby was shaking her finger at me before the last word left my mouth, “The last thing you need is another guy in your life” she disagreed. I nodded my head, only pretending to agree with her so she would drop the subject.
“Well I….” I trailed off as my cell phone rang, I picked up my phone off the table and glanced at the number which I didn’t recognize. “Who is it?” Gabby asked, I simply shrugged my shoulders and answered the call.
Is this Rochelle? I am Christine Sanders, I heard you were looking for a guy from the Halloween Party back in October
The caller inquired, I sat back and stared at the phone unsure of what to say. I hadn’t planned for this. Not for women to call me.
Yes, I am can we meet somewhere and talk, later
I asked trying to hurry this women off the phone, The caller agreed to meet up with me at Nine at Charlies. Perfect
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After rushing Gabby out of my apartment at quarter to eight so I could get ready for my meeting, I made up an excuse that I needed my sleep for the baby. She bought it, but there would be hell to pay if she knew what I was up to. I hoped on all that was good, that she wouldn’t be at Charlies that night.
I rushed around my bedroom trying to find something to wear to my meeting with Christine, I shared a class with her so I knew who she was but I didn’t share more than a few words with her. The private University, I attended was pretty small and I had spoken to almost every one on campus at least once.
I was actually surprised that she wanted to help, but she may have her own motives. Everyone does.
I finally chose a simple black t-shirt paired with black jeans and black boots. I placed my long brown hair in a bun, grabbed my coat, purse and headed the two blocks to Charlies.
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Finding Christine in a booth at the back of the diner, I slid in and hoped that tonight wouldn’t be a repeat of the previous night. “Who exactly are you looking for?” Christine asked, cutting to the chase after I had sat down. “Dom” I responded purposely leaving ‘Big Daddy’ off the nickname.
“Would that be the Dom, who refers to himself as Big Daddy?” She asked smirking, I swallowed hard before nodding my head. “I have the information but it’s not free.”
Her asking for payment never crossed my mind, still I needed to know so against my better judgment, I reached in my purse and pulled out a twenty. I slid it across the table, She grabbed it. “Twenty will get you the basics.”
“Dominic Morgan, doesn’t attend Hansbrough. He’s nineteen and comes for parties mostly. He’s known for knocking girls up on campus and he has burned quite a few as well. I’d go get checked. “
She slid out the booth,”He’s not someone worth looking for, do yourself a favor and don’t bark up that tree.”
Chapter 4
I spent the night laying in bed staring at the ceiling. Although it was a Thursday and I had tests to study for and class in the morning, No matter what I did I just couldn’t shut my brain off. Numerous things ran through my head. The top being, What would I have done if Dom had given me something?
I was more then thankful that a baby is all that came out of our encounter and as much as I still wanted to find him, honestly he needed to know I was carrying his child. Even if nothing else came out of it, at least he would know. I spent the next three hours tossing and turning, finally giving up on sleep at four in the morning.
I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed, Reaching for my slippers, I slid them on and stood up to stretch. Walking to my closet, I opened the door and grabbed the first thing that I saw. Pulling on the grey sweat pants, I nearly fell as I balanced on my left leg while putting my right leg in the pants. I pulled the shirt over my head and left the bedroom.
I kicked the slippers off as soon as I made it into the living room, settling on the couch and tucking my feet underneath me. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through the contacts until I found Tracey’s name, I pressed her number into the key pad not caring that it was four in the morning.
“Hello” Tracey whispered into the phone, her voice cracked with sleep. “Tracey, can you meet me at Charlie’s at six” I asked as I played with one of the rings on my left hand. “Six in the morning?” She asked in annoyance. “Yes” I snapped, after getting an affirmative answer I pressed end on my phone and got up from the couch to dress for the day.
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After I was showered and dressed, I left the house and headed to Charlie’s hoping that Tracey was on her way as well.
Walking into the diner, I noticed that Gabby was sitting in the booth with Tracey. “I called her” Tracey explained as Gabby moved over to the wall to make room for me, I nodded and settled into the booth. “Coffee with three cream and sugar” I ordered, then sighed deeply as the waitress walked away from the table with our orders. “I know who he is” I muttered, “Cost me twenty dollars though”. Gabby’s head shot up and she locked eyes with Tracey, who looked mildly surprised.
“Who is he?” Gabby asked at the same time as Tracey said “Who charged you for information?”. “Dominic Morgan” I answered Gabby’s question and chose to ignore Tracey’s. “Dominic Morgan. Whose that?” Tracey asked while biting into her toast that just arrived at the table with my coffee.
“He doesn’t attend the school, just our parties. Apparently he’s knocked a few girls up and burned some.”
I watched Gabby’s eyes grow wide at the statement and I thought I saw Tracey hiding a laugh behind her hand.
“I have his number, I am going to call him now” I continued pulling out my phone. “Are you completely insane, Rae.” Tracey asked snatching the phone from my hand shocking both Gabby and I.
“This guy is not going to care that you are pregnant” She stated bluntly. “Maybe, Maybe not but he deserves to know”. I grabbed the phone and made the call.
Tracey was right I realized after hanging up the phone with big Dom the asshole. I was now going to plan his takedown.
Chapter 5
I hung up the phone and slammed it down on the table causing Gabby and Tracy to jump in their seats, I was furious after speaking to Dominic. All I had wanted him to know was that I was pregnant but he had laughed and told me good luck on finding the father. I heard footsteps approach the table and hurriedly dried my eyes with my hands, I glanced up and noticed the guy from the other night standing with another guy looking down at me smiling.
“Are you okay? Rochelle, Right?” He asked softly, and I nodded too stunned to speak, then I finally found my voice, “This is my best friend Gabby and my other friend Tracey” I replied, “Thanks for your help the other night”. “You’re welcome, I’m Damien and I wanted to ask you to go to dinner with me tonight”. Tracey’s eyes bugged out and she looked jealous as she stared at him with lustful eyes, ” She’s pregnant and she doesn’t know who the father is” she spat hatefully and rolled her eyes, “I’m free tonight though” she flirted, with a big smile.
“No, I’m okay” Damien said disgusted with Tracey and grabbed my hand, “I’d love to take you out tonight Rochelle, I don’t care if you’re pregnant or about any of that extra drama your friend is trying to stir up”. I smiled and wrote down my number on a piece of paper I pulled from my purse and handed it to him. He took the paper and walked away with his friend in tow and Gabby and I got up from the table and went to class giddy with excitement.
