wishing it had never happened to me

how would it be, if i never had to go through what i did

wishing i could turn back time in my mind,

could i have fought back more then i did, scream louder until

someone heard and came running in

He took something from me, i didn't want him to have.

I didn't give him permission to get inside my head.

He said i wanted it but that's just not true,

cause if i wanted it i wouldn't be dead inside.

Now i have these scars that can't be mend,

visions of that day still haunt my being

have to look behind me every step that i take

looking in every shadow scared to death that

someone will grab me and do it again

I pray to god to take away this pain,

but once you've been violated, things will never be the same.

_________________________________________________________________ This was written when I was 19, after I was raped.

<<<<<