Monthly Archives: February 2023

Bullshit. A bunch of Bullshit

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So Things have been going up and all the way down with the current guy I’m dating and honestly after the last couple of days…I’m done. So about a week ago he was here about seventeen hours because I have wifi and he doesn’t. I left him in my apartment a couple of times because I thought I could trust him and while I did have a twisted tea while he was here, I wasn’t close to wasted. I’m a lightweight but not that much of one.

Anyways a few days ago, I look under my sink in my kitchen where I had a ton of cleaning products as I was getting ready to clean, some of them weren’t even open to find them all gone. So noting that I go looking for other things that I bought but haven’t used yet like four packs of Tops Papers and a box of batteries and they were missing too. Knowing who took them I call him and he sends me to voicemail so I curse him out on his VM.

Basically he shows up to my door yesterday yelling at me that I had been drunk and told him that he could take whatever he wanted. That never happened, I’m so pissed because now things I didn’t think I had to buy in March, I now have to buy. On top of that I’m sick and I feel like shit and it’s a blow to find out that someone I trusted it, had stolen from me.

He also accused me of giving him an STD and that he knows that my ex boyfriend who I haven’t seen since April had been in my apartment last Christmas. First of all, He’s banned from my building and second of all, we had a driving ban over Christmas weekend and the next week because we got blasted with snow, and the buses weren’t running plus it was like -20 outside. I spent Christmas with my sister.

Much to my sisters delight, I’ve been wearing more makeup and she’s been doing my eye makeup, while I like how eyeliner looks my hands shake too bad to do it to myself so my sister does it for me. After he left last night, I had a frightening dream about my ex actually being in my building over Christmas weekend and said I should have looked on the ground outside my window (I’m on the sixth floor) but in reality he’d be arrested if he was in the building.

I did get a text from him, yesterday asking if I still had his xbox login, guess he bought a new one after he sold the one I bought him, so I text the info to him and that was the end of the convo. My current is an idiot, then later today I took a nap and had a very weird dream about my current doing my make up and I was all pink, like it was horrible.

Overall I’m done, between him stealing from me and then him blaming it on me, I’m done. I’m not feeling well, my throat is killing me and I’ve lost my voice. I also think I have a UTI so I’m going to urgent care on Monday. I’m on a dating app and have been taking it on and off my phone for weeks now but now it’s staying on there and I’ve giving my current the kick out of my life.

Good Morning

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Another night where I only got two hours of sleep, I’m still sick and I’m still not sure what I have but I’m hoping and praying that I kick this by Wednesday. I am binge Greys Anatomy seasons 16 through 18 on Netflix because I cancelled its beginning March 4th. I’m just going to watch season 19 on Hulu. I don’t know if anyone comes here anymore but I found my Blog Planner so I will start to plan entries out again.

Sick, Snacks & Girl Scout Cookies

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So I think I have the flu, My stomach is bothering me….I threw up on the floor and all over my bed a couple days ago and this morning my throat is killing me, so that is fun. I hope I feel better by Wednesday when I get paid. I’m thinking about canceling my http://www.universalyums.com box. Idk, I pay for the super yum box and usually it’s great, but this month….blah. It’s usually packed with snacks, but not this month, I was very unimpressed and quite honest, much to my sisters delight, I have been getting more and more into makeup, I’m thinking about subscribing to a beauty box like Ipsy. Any Suggestions?

I can’t afford to get girl scout cookies this year but if you do, consider ordering from Troop 6000 in New York City ; https://www.girlscoutsnyc.org/en/discover/girl-scouting-nyc/troop-6000.html .

i’ve been going through my email and doing surveys, having coffee & breakfast with my sister and we have also been meeting up for dinner.

Health Issues and Blog updates

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So I’ve been so dizzy since yesterday, I’ve also been super hungry and my sister thinks I’m pregnant, God I hope not. I mean if I was, I’d keep the baby but The father is just like my son’s father in personality. They are both Geminis, I am a Gemini and we clash. He can’t handle his liquor and he has put his hands on me.

I was super dizzy yesterday at my sisters, I was also in so much pain and she wants me to go to her orthopedic appointment on Tuesday, she’s scared they are going to tell her she needs to have surgery so I am going for moral support. I am also going to see if they take my insurance because I don’t like my current ortho and I am positive I have arthritis in other places then just my knees.

I went to bed at 11pm last night and woke up at four this morning, When I got up, I used the bathroom and almost fell asleep on the toilet four times and almost fell head first off the toilet three times. I need to go get this checked out.

As for this blog/website, I’m going to add some pages and stuff, so I can get more in depth about me, I’m going through the links to other pages today and maybe adding some new stuff off my list. I’m going to try to blog at least twice a week and eventually I will go back to reviewing survey sites like I was in the past.

I’ve been getting so many followers on social media, especially TikTok, I haven’t made a video in awhile but I do have videos on there. I go by Midnightjojo if you want to check me out. Besides being dizzy and in pain, I’m going to play coin master today and it’s quest day.

Games, Games, Wikipedia & Health stuff.

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So Im not sure if I am manic but I only got three hours of sleep last night and besides being in pain, I feel okay. I did take a couple of my sleeping medication to see if I can take a little nap though, My whole body hurts and I’ve felt this way since Wednesday. I don’t know what I did, it just seems like I have arthritis in more places then my knees. I’m thinking about finding a new orthopedic, She has me on Meloxicam which is an anti-inflammatory, but she never gives me refills, ever. My sister is on a lower dose of the same med and she gets refills, I’m thinking about going where she goes or back to dent because I have to see a neurologist too.

I ended up canceling my therapist appointment and my injection last week, I had some kind of 24hr bug and cases are going back up here, my doctors office doesn’t want you to come in if you are sick. I had a doctors appointment that week but I was able to do that over the phone, and she ended up giving me a higher dose of my anti psychotic, so we will see if that helps with the mania. I have been on every med under the sun and the only one I refuse to take is Lithium, I had a roommate that was on it and she ended up in the hospital for four months because it made her really sick.

Last night, I had dinner at my sisters and her friend got me a pint of E&J Apple, we walked to the store and when we got back, I could tell that he was about to start shit with me so I left. I came home and didn’t go to sleep until Five this morning and then was up by Eight.

I have been downloading a lot of games, and reading about Serial killers and missing people on Wikipedia. I had brunch with my sister, just oatmeal and bacon. Then I told her that if I didn’t call her by 8pm to eat without me and I’d cook us dinner tomorrow. We share meals, a lot and take turns cooking.

I feel like I don’t have much to say these days, I can’t believe I’ve had this blog since 2017. I’m going to start planning out blogs again when I find my planner and maybe get back into doing giveaways.

Mama and Other Things

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So I put this theme up just because I was sick of the other one, I didn’t really customize it even though I did make a header in Paint shop pro it won’t fit this theme. I am watching the movie Mama over and over, I ended up buying it this month because they took it off of Hulu. I may start buying a new digital movie every month. I want to buy Nerve and also Seconds Apart. I really need to go through the fanlistings page for broken URLS. I also want to go through Blogs Loved and some of my other pages.

I am still working on getting my novels on their own pages with Character details and Summaries. I haven’t wrote anything in forever, and I tried to do Nano but I didn’t end up doing it. I’ve been not in the mood to write or do anything really, I’m not feeling well so I cancelled all my appointments for this week but I am seeing if I can do a phone appointment with my Psychiatrist because I’ve been manic a lot and I think we need to adjust my meds or switch them around.

I’m Definitely going to go through the blog today and see whats what.

Two blog entries in one day

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So, I got on my laptop to do surveys and check my email,l but instead I’m high as hell (I had an edible, first time ever) and i’m busy looking at blogs and personal sites instead of doing, I don’t know, survey site reviews which I haven’t done in forever. I know I have been neglecting this site and I haven’t really been on social media but I needed that break from social media. I’m neglecting this offline too, I’ve been putting off doing my laundry forever because I hate doing it.

So I’m sitting here looking at random sites and listening to a podcast.

Been Dealing with Alot

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Hey, I haven’t written in a while because I’ve dealt with a lot of bullshit. Just did the recertify for my apartment. I’ve also been upgraded from FWB to Girlfriend but I’m not really happy. He, like my ex, has a drinking problem and he is nasty and aggressive when he drinks and I really don’t like it. I’m getting flashbacks with my ex and the shit I went through at my old building. Like I love him, but I’m no ones punching bag, verbal or emotional. I can’t do this again, like a couple of nights ago, he was in my apartment, refusing to leave and I was crying, and said Get out of my apartment and my life. I haven’t talked to him since.

I saw him yesterday and we just looked at eachother, finally I just shook my head and walked away. I went to my sister’s apartment and vented to her. I’ve thought about making tiktoks but it’s hard enough to even open up on here. I don’t know what is attracting these abusive men to me, I can’t deal with it anymore.

I left the friend whatsapp group I was in and im not allowed back so all I can really vent to and have support from is my sister, I can vent to my therapist but im not sure I want to let her know that I let him back in my life after he slapped me when I don’t even know why I let him back in.